Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
by Charles Dickens
at 2008-09-30
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Many banks have a new kind of Xmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
at 2008-09-30
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The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.
by Peter Dickinson
at 2008-09-03
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"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'"
by Dave Barry
at 2008-08-19
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"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."
by Dave Barry
at 2008-08-19
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
by Anonymous
at 2008-06-19
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
by Jay Leno
at 2008-06-19
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
by Anonymous
at 2008-06-19
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
by Phyllis Diller
at 2008-05-20
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“A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!” cried a cheerful voice. “Bah!” said Scrooge. “Humbug!”
by Charles Dickens
at 2008-05-20
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“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
by Shirley Temple
at 2008-05-20
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“For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home.”
at 2008-05-20
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“There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.”
