Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same--don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.
by Alfred, Macy janitor
at 2008-05-21
Rating: 4.67 Votes: 3
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"Miracle on 34th Street" (1947)
[Doris is trying to convince Susan there is no Santa Claus]
Susan Walker: But he spoke Dutch to that girl.
Doris Walker: Susan, I speak French, but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc.
at 2008-06-20
Rating: 4.50 Votes: 6
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Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
by Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
at 2008-05-21
Rating: 4.50 Votes: 4
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Fozzie Bear: Ah, Christmas. The time for Santa Claus and his eight flying rein-bear.
Snowman: That's reindeer.
Fozzie Bear: No, that's SNOW, DARLING!
by "A Muppet Family Christmas" (1987)
at 2008-09-16
Rating: 4.40 Votes: 5
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Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey he is. Hallelujah. Where's the Tylenol?
by Clark W Griswold
at 2008-05-21
Rating: 4.36 Votes: 11
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Doc: I don't care if the turkey said the dog was a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!
by "A Muppet Family Christmas" (1987)
at 2008-09-16
Rating: 4.25 Votes: 4
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Snowman: Hey Fozzie.
Fozzie Bear: Yes, Mr. Snowman?
Snowman: Did you hear about the church that burned down?
Statler, Waldorf: Holy smoke!
[they cackle]
by A Muppet Family Christmas (1987)
at 2008-08-13
Rating: 4.17 Votes: 6
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Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!
by George Bailey
at 2008-05-21
Rating: 4.12 Votes: 8
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"Miracle on 34th Street"(1947)
Doris: Would you please tell her that you're not really Santa Claus, that there actually is no such person?
Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you, but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it.
at 2008-06-20
Rating: 4.00 Votes: 7
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Schroeder: This is the music I've selected for the Christmas play.
[Schroeder plays Fur Elise]
Lucy Van Pelt: What kind of Christmas music is *that*?
Schroeder: Beethoven Christmas music.
Lucy Van Pelt: What has Beethoven got to do with Christmas? Everyone talks about how "great" Beethoven was.
Beethoven wasn't so great.
[Schroeder stops playing]
Schroeder: What do you mean Beethoven wasn't so great?
Lucy Van Pelt: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble gum cards?
Schroeder: Good grief.
by A Charlie Brown Christmas
at 2008-11-05
Rating: 3.67 Votes: 9
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Clark: Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.
by Christmas Vacation (1989)
at 2008-12-17
Rating: 3.60 Votes: 5
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Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
by Christmas Vacation (1989)
at 2008-12-17
Rating: 3.44 Votes: 9
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Mr. Parker: What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
Mother: Ah... Victor! His name is Victor.
Mr. Parker: How the hell did you know that?
Mother: Everybody knows that!
by "A Christmas Story", 1983
at 2008-10-29
Rating: 3.20 Votes: 5
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Statler: We'd love to see your act.
Waldorf: We'd hate to miss your act.
Statler: In fact, we'd love to hate your act.
[they cackle]
by A Muppet Family Christmas (1987)
at 2008-08-13
Rating: 3.00 Votes: 2
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Life is like that. Sometimes at the height of our reveries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.
by National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
at 2008-11-05
Rating: 2.80 Votes: 5
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Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.
