Schroeder: This is the music I've selected for the Christmas play.
[Schroeder plays Fur Elise]
Lucy Van Pelt: What kind of Christmas music is *that*?
Schroeder: Beethoven Christmas music.
Lucy Van Pelt: What has Beethoven got to do with Christmas? Everyone talks about how "great" Beethoven was.
Beethoven wasn't so great.
[Schroeder stops playing]
Schroeder: What do you mean Beethoven wasn't so great?
Lucy Van Pelt: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble gum cards?
Schroeder: Good grief.
by A Charlie Brown Christmas
at 2008-11-04
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Life is like that. Sometimes at the height of our reveries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.
by National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
at 2008-11-04
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People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
by Ogden Nash
at 2008-11-04
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
by Jay Leno
at 2008-11-04
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A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.
by Eva K. Logue
at 2008-10-30
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Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
by Helen Steiner Rice
at 2008-10-30
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Christmas is the one time of year when you can count on smiling faces and bright lights and awesome gifts and giant twinkling trees and family reunions and childish games and believing in that old man that you know doesn't exist. Christmas is the time when dreams come true.
at 2008-10-30
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Christmas ... is not an eternal event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart...
by Freya Stark
at 2008-10-30
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Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!
by Hamilton Wright Mabie
at 2008-10-28
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Best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year.
at 2008-10-28
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Mr. Parker: What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
Mother: Ah... Victor! His name is Victor.
Mr. Parker: How the hell did you know that?
Mother: Everybody knows that!
by "A Christmas Story", 1983
at 2008-10-28
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Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
by Charles Dickens
at 2008-09-30
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Many banks have a new kind of Xmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
at 2008-09-30
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Many banks have a new kind of Xmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
at 2008-09-30
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Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
by Benny Hill
at 2008-09-30
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Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
by Benny Hill
at 2008-09-30
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People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
by Ogden Nash
at 2008-09-30
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
by Jay Leno
at 2008-09-30
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There's more, much more, to Christmas Than candlelight and cheer; It's the spirit of sweet friendship That brightens all year. It's thoughtfulness and kindness, It's hope reborn again, For peace, for understanding, And for goodwill to men!
at 2008-09-30
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May His Love and Presence fill you to overflowing and bring you a most Joyous Christmas.
at 2008-09-30
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Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again.
by Grace Noll Crowell
at 2008-09-30
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
by Garrison Keillor
at 2008-09-15
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Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again.
by Grace Noll Crowell
at 2008-09-15
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Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance--a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
by Augusta E. Rundel
at 2008-09-15
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At Christmas a man is at his finest towards the finish of the year; He is almost what he should be when the Christmas season's here; Then he's thinking more of others than he's thought the months before, And the laughter of his children is a joy worth toiling for. He is less a selfish creature than at any other time; When the Christmas spirit rules him he comes close to the sublime...
