My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
by Erma Bombeck
at 2008-05-20
Rating: 3.75 Votes: 4
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Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
by Calvin Coolidge
at 2008-05-20
Rating: 3.75 Votes: 4
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
by Jay Leno
at 2008-09-30
Rating: 3.73 Votes: 11
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Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.
by Charles Schulz
at 2008-08-19
Rating: 3.71 Votes: 7
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Peace on earth will come to stay,
When we live Christmas every day
by Helen Steiner Rice
at 2008-08-19
Rating: 3.70 Votes: 10
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
by Jay Leno
at 2008-11-04
Rating: 3.68 Votes: 19
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Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind;
Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
by Helen Steiner Rice
at 2008-05-20
Rating: 3.67 Votes: 18
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Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years. Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart.
by George Mathew Adams
at 2008-09-03
Rating: 3.67 Votes: 6
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Clark: Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.
by Christmas Vacation (1989)
at 2008-12-16
Rating: 3.67 Votes: 3
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Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again.
by Grace Noll Crowell
at 2008-09-15
Rating: 3.67 Votes: 3
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At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year!
by Thomas Tusser
at 2008-05-20
Rating: 3.62 Votes: 16
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Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
by Benny Hill
at 2008-09-30
Rating: 3.60 Votes: 25
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Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
by Norman Vincent Peale
at 2008-08-06
Rating: 3.57 Votes: 14
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Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
by Benny Hill
at 2008-09-30
Rating: 3.50 Votes: 16
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Schroeder: This is the music I've selected for the Christmas play.
[Schroeder plays Fur Elise]
Lucy Van Pelt: What kind of Christmas music is *that*?
Schroeder: Beethoven Christmas music.
Lucy Van Pelt: What has Beethoven got to do with Christmas? Everyone talks about how "great" Beethoven was.
Beethoven wasn't so great.
[Schroeder stops playing]
Schroeder: What do you mean Beethoven wasn't so great?
Lucy Van Pelt: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble gum cards?
Schroeder: Good grief.
by A Charlie Brown Christmas
at 2008-11-04
Rating: 3.50 Votes: 8
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Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
by Christmas Vacation (1989)
at 2008-12-16
Rating: 3.50 Votes: 6
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Christmas ... is not an eternal event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart.
by Freya Stark
at 2008-12-04
Rating: 3.46 Votes: 13
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There's more, much more, to Christmas Than candlelight and cheer; It's the spirit of sweet friendship That brightens all year. It's thoughtfulness and kindness, It's hope reborn again, For peace, for understanding, And for goodwill to men!
at 2008-09-30
Rating: 3.44 Votes: 9
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Remember this December that love weighs more than gold!
by Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon
at 2008-05-28
Rating: 3.42 Votes: 12
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"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'"
by Dave Barry
at 2008-08-19
Rating: 3.38 Votes: 8
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I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
by Harlan Miller
at 2008-08-06
Rating: 3.36 Votes: 14
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"It is the spirit of brotherhood in the cheer of Christmas that makes it so glorious. Brotherliness is but the manifestation of the spirit of Christ."
at 2008-12-08
Rating: 3.33 Votes: 9
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Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
by Charles Dickens
at 2008-12-01
Rating: 3.33 Votes: 6
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Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
by Dale Evans
at 2008-05-28
Rating: 3.31 Votes: 13
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“There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.”
