"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'"

“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”

"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."

Open your presents at Christmastime but be thankful year round for the gifts you receive.

I have shown you in every way by laboring like this, that you must support the weak.
And remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, that
He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.

“I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year.”

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled.

This was the first enrollment, when Quirini-us was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled,
each to his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David,
which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David,
to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there,
the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and
wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

God's work done God's way will never lack God's supply.

At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year.

Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey he is. Hallelujah. Where's the Tylenol?

Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

“For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home.”