There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same--don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.

Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Clark: Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.

"Miracle on 34th Street" (1947)

[Doris is trying to convince Susan there is no Santa Claus]
Susan Walker: But he spoke Dutch to that girl.
Doris Walker: Susan, I speak French, but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc.

"It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself"

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years. Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart.

“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.