There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.

Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.

Clark: Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.

Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same--don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.

"It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself"

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled.

This was the first enrollment, when Quirini-us was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled,
each to his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David,
which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David,
to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there,
the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and
wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Doc: I don't care if the turkey said the dog was a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!

And the angel said unto them, "Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, Which shall be to all people. "For unto you is born this day in the city of David A Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, Lying in a manger.

Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind;
Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.